The Part of Parenthood No One Talks About
Pregnancy and the first year of parenthood brings about huge change — impacting you physically, emotionally and mentally, your identity, relationships, routines, and the way you see yourself.
While this period is often described as a time of 'joy and love, it's also a time where many parents quietly struggle with something that's much less talked about... perinatal depression and anxiety (PNDA).
This Perinatal Mental Health Week, we want every mum, dad and parent to feel supported and encouraged to seek help in whatever way feels right.
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What Is Perinatal Depression & Anxiety? 🤱
PDNA affects approximately 1 in 5 new mums and 1 in 10 new dads in Australia each year. All new parents will have good and bad days, but when the hard days outweigh the good, and those feelings make it hard to get through daily life, it could be due to PNDA.
For mums, symptoms often arise during pregnancy, but can also appear after birth. The good news though is that PNDA is very treatable, with evidence based and culturally sensitive support through organizations like PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia), recovery is absolutely possible!
What Are The Signs To Look Out For? 👀
PNDA affects both mums and dads with the severity being dependent on the intensity, frequency, the type of symptoms and how much they interfere with daily life. The way it affects someone is dependent on many factors including genetics, physical health, emotional history and external stressors that can impact your risk of developing symptoms.
Some experience mild symptoms that appear slowly over time, while others can experience more intense symptoms that appear suddenly and feel overwhelming.
Mood Changes
○ Feeling sad, hopeless, frequent crying
○ Brain fog or difficulty focussing
○ Feeling disconnected from baby or loved ones
○ Feeling isolated, scared or lonely even when with loved ones
○ Persistent worry about the health of your baby
○ Racing thoughts and catastrophising
○ Obsessive, compulsive or intrusive thoughts
○ Feeling worthless, shameful, or critical self talk
○ Suicidal thoughts
Behavioural Changes:
○ Vertigo
○ Panic attacks
○ Changes in appetite
○ No energy or motivation
○ Engaging in risk taking behaviour e.g. overspending, substance abuse
○ Heart palpitations, head aches, body tension, shortness of breath, stomach aches etc
○ Obsessive/ compulsive behaviours e.g. constantly checking baby's breathing, endless internet searches of baby's health etc
Anxiety / Changes to Relationships:
○ Withdrawing from family and friends
○ Increased arguments with loved ones
○ Avoiding people or places that might cause anxious feelings
○ Worry about telling your postnatal care team whats happening
○ Little to no interest in daily activities that usually bring joy e.g. time with baby, partner or friends, exercise, eating, career, hobbies etc
The amazing news is that even if you do exhibit these symptoms, most people make a full recovery with the right treatment and support. If opening up to your partner, family or friends is too overwhelming, seeking support from organizations like PANDA and lifeline are wonderful options.
📞 PANDA: 1300 726 306
📞 Lifeline: 13 11 14
How To Support Yourself (or others) Through PNDA 💞
Recovery takes time, but with the right tools, support and care, things can and do get better. No one deserves to go through this alone and thankfully, there are more resources than ever before!
If You're Experiencing Symptoms
🗣️ Talk To Someone You Trust → Opening up is the hardest step but sharing how you feel breaks the isolation.
🩺 Reach Out For Professional Support → If speaking to family, friends or your GP is overwhelming, services like PANDA are there to help. Their trained counselors know exactly what you're going through.
🌸 Small Steps Towards Rest & Recovery → It's about rebuilding yourself, not 'bouncing back'. Focus on small acts of self care like eating proper meals, napping when you can and asking for help with the baby or housework — it all counts.
💟 Be Kind To Yourself → You're not failing, you're healing. The pressure to be the perfect parent only makes recovery harder.
If You're Supporting Someone With PNDA
👂 Listen Without Fixing → Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is listen. A simple "That sounds really hard. I'm sorry, and I'm here for you" can mean the world!
🧺 Offer Practical Help → Cooking a meal, doing a load of washing or minding the baby are small gestures, but they go a long way.
📖 Learn About PNDA → Understanding what they are experiencing helps build compassion and empathy.
🫂 Encourage Professional Help → If symptoms persist or worsen, gently suggest reaching out to a professional or calling Lifeline/ PANDA together.
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No one's prepared for parenthood, and that's okay because parenthood isn't meant to be done alone. Whether you're feeling mild anxiety or something more severe, recognizing the signs and reaching out for help is one of the bravest things you can do.
Healing doesn't happen all at once. It happens quietly, one day at a time 🫶.
